If reading ain’t your thang, scroll to the bottom to watch my “Bloom & Tendrils Collection- in the making” movie aka my lil Gratitude Film :)
I've always heard older folks speak of how years can fly by in a flash, but I never imagined it would truly feel that way. Without exaggerating, I can honestly say that a month easily feels like a week living on this homestead. The priorities of our Now moments do not exist on a calendar and there is a very real sense of time warp that occurs when you live this way. The days all bleed into one another, in a continuous vortex of tending to the soil, tending to the animals, and tending to thy self.
How we register "time" here seems to be measured on a entirely different scale altogether. "Time" for us is measured in how fast we go through seed bins or how fast a wallow can dry up. "Time" is observing the differences in our succession planting cycles - watching our plants go from a sown seed, to harvest, at different rates based on when they went into the ground and how the weather has influenced each life cycle. It is measured by the subtle shifts of weather patterns, and conditions like north winds, shifting into south winds, how our plants can go from being very thirsty and demanding, to plenty hydrated and satisfied without our influence. Watching the night skies, observing when the moonlight is beaming stronger and fuller, and when it wans back into a dark sky filled with stars again. The intention to call up an old friend can linger in my mind for months before it actually occurs because there are so many things physically in front of me that I would LOVE to give my immediate attention to. Filling my life with responsibility + laborious reward has made time FLY.
Every morning we wake up, cuddle our pup, make coffee, let our chickens out, say good morning to the farm, walk through our garden and admire all the subtle changes that have taken place during our last sleep. Noticing all the new blooms that have popped, tomatoes that have ripened, limbs that need to be supported, Cucumbers that need to be picked, squash that need to be pruned, beds that need to be mulched, areas that need to be watered, weeds to be pulled, and so on... It may sound like work to some of you, but to me, it feels like a fairytale. ESPECIALLY since I have been able to revel in my studio a few hours here n there over the last few weeks. But, when you are in the middle of a garden that is as dense, tall, so artfully and beautifully alive with LIVING things...all of which are here because of a handful of seeds that WE put into the soil back in early spring...it simply feels like a celebration. It does not feel like work at all. Every day, in every moment we radiate gratitude.
Sometimes it's hard to imagine what this land looked like just 2 years ago when it was nothing but rocks and hard pan clay. Countless hours have been spent laboring over this slice of heaven, sweating, learning, overcoming and adapting. But, after all that hard work, we now get to live in a perpetual state of awe. One that is so much richer because we know how much love has gone into creating all of THIS, from the life in the soil to the life of our pollinators wandering and buzzing above our heads. It's MAGICAL and there is no other place I'd rather be.
I want to share a little story about manifesting with you, if you will.
A few years ago I was reading lots of Wayne Dyer, Bruce Lipton and Joe Dispenza books. More than any other Authors, these three helped me unlock the understanding of the nature of our minds, how and why we form our desires, how we get in our own way (and how not to), and how to plant seeds for manifesting a peaceful dreamy life. N ya know what? It's not as "out there" as you might think!
But, while I was taking in the wealth of knowledge those three offered and marinating in their books, Joe Dispenza touched on something that prompted an "Ah-ha!" moment that stuck with me. He encouraged people to create something called "Mind Movies" - basically, creating your own affirmation movie that programs your subconscious mind to become a match with your dream life. Similar to how a vision board works, but how incorporating moving picture visuals and music could really help to ignite a FEELING, more so than just words/images....You following?
At the time of when I learned of this, I had already bailed off social media, and began making my own personal movies for my own creative enjoyment. You see, when I got off social media, I still had a thirst to photograph and document aspects of my life....even though I had zero intention for it to be shared as content. Its crazy, cause after spending almost 10 years of my life posting a recent photo + relevant thought - Daily, on Instagram, it felt foreign to quit documenting altogether. It was a habit of reflection that fed me in so many more ways than just looking for a response. So, I kept documenting and filming sweet moments in my life and put together movies that I treated much like a journal. I would add music that was the current soundtrack of my life, music I had just discovered, or music I had been listening to during the moment(s) of said clips. Music has always played such a powerful role in my nostalgic indulgences and overall calibrating of my emotions, so choosing each song for each movie is an enjoyable, methodical, conscious artful act.
I was making these journal movies BEFORE I had even heard of "Mind Movies". So, when I heard Joe speaking about them, it got me to thinking, "well how much of me putting these movies of my own clips together, of fond moments with music that ignites my being, is actually expanding and manifesting more of what I want to show up in my life?" One could argue, they are preeettyy correlated.
I now refer to my personal "journal movies" as my Gratitude Films. Instead of *trying* to manifest the things I want, like in the "Mind Movies", I want to be *grateful* for what I have already received in life, growing and expanding more of that which brings me peace, bliss, joy + radiance.... I hereby authorize you to do the same ;)
But for real, you wouldnt know it by watching the earliest of my journal gratitude films, but during that period of time, there was quite a bit of contrast in my life. While I was finding lots of moments of sheer bliss, and beauty among nature.... it wasnt all rainbows and butterflies in my inner world.
There was still a feeling of death and loss of identity during this time of major life transition for me.
On the macro, I had a heaviness in my heart for all the turbulence that humanity was experiencing, constantly facing duality, "Us against Them". Tyranny. Loss of freedom. Loss of choices. Loss of history and honest perspectives. Sabotaging small businesses, and more importantly our close interpersonal relationships, all while propping up narratives that become death by 1,000 cuts for mankind.
And on the micro, realizing that having an "audience" or "following" and "feeling loved" in a virtual world is vastly different than having real and nourishing friendships IN REAL LIFE. Living so much of my life transparently sharing through an app, inadvertently made my life less authentic. People showed me certain aspects of themselves they thought I would approve of (based on my own online presence), and visa versa, my ego loved everyone to love me, too. After some "dark night of the soul" moments, I realized that I was actually more free than I've ever been. That there wasn't a single person that expected anything from me anymore. My ego no longer had an audience that aided virtual signaling. It became apparent that my "friends" that fell away when I stopped using social media, were actually doing me a favor. And so I was free to create Art on a level I had yet to experience....Art that no one was watching or had a say in, but us. Art that I got to co-create with my love.... which is OUR garden. OUR sanctuary.
I have been slow to share our life here on our homestead, because a part of me recognizes that whatever I share online, is also exploiting my pleasure and anonymity. BUT, I believe I have found a happy medium that brings me joy to create and share with you. These Metalsmithing videos are 2-fold : A gratitude film, and a "sneak peek" film for you to see how each Collection comes to life, little by little, in between tending to my beautiful farm life.
This movie is merely the byproduct of enjoying each snippet of creation.... ENJOY
